Choosing a Good Spouse in Marriage – ‘Abdus-Salaam bin ‘Abdillaah As-Sulaymaan.

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Just as a husband should look for a righteous wife, so too should a woman look to choose a righteous husband. Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allaah said: “If someone should come to you whose religion and character you are pleased with, marry (your daughter) off to him. If you do not do so, there will be mischief in the land and widespread corruption.” [1]

Based on this, we see that the firm foundation that a potential couple should base their selection of one another should be that of: Religion and Character. This is what will bring about a correct and proper upbringing for children.

On the wedding night when the groom consummates the marriage, it is recommended for him to say: “O Allaah, I ask you for her good and the good that she was molded upon” whilst placing his hand upon her head. He should also pray two rak’aat with her. [2]

[1] Reported by At-Tirmidhee (1085) from the narration of Abu Haatim Al-Muznee, and he said: “This is a hasan ghareeb hadeeth.” Abu Haatim Al-Muznee was a Companion. No other hadeeth is known to have been reported by him on the Prophet except this hadeeth. Abu Dawood also mentioned it in al-Maraaseel (224) but according to him, Abu Haatim Al-Muznee is a Taabi’ee. The hadeeth also has a supporting witness in the hadeeth of Abu Hurairah with the wording: “If someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes marriage to you (i.e. your daughter), then marry (her) off to him. If you fail to do so, there will be mischief in the land and widespread corruption.” [Reported by At-Tirmidhee (1084) and Ibn Maajah (1967)]

[2] Reported by Al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak (2/202, no. 2757); ‘Abdullaah bin ‘Amr reported that Allaah’s Messenger said: “If one of you obtains a slave-girl or a wife or a riding beast, he should take hold of her forelock, supplicate for blessings and say: ‘O Allaah, I ask You for her good and the good that she was molded upon. And I seek refuge in You from her evil and the evil that she was molded upon.” Al-Haakim authenticated it and Adh-Dhahabee agreed.

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